Where is she now?


About to fly off the top of Ben Nevis


Ever wondered what happened to the Widow in the Scottish Widows advert?

My source of information informs me, she got fed up prancing round the Scottish moors in her cape, so the widow gave the cape to a charity shop and married Henry Widmark, a widower from Widdicombe.

Mr Widmark invented the Widget, described in one dictionary as a ‘thingamajig’ or more precisely a ‘whatsit’, and bears no relation to a widgeon, described in a second dictionary as ‘unknown or irrelevant’ then again in another dictionary as ‘wigeon’ (no D as you will notice).

Ah!!!!! now it’s beginning to make sense. This time round the wigeon just happens to be… wait for it… a freshwater dabbling duck. Of course you will not be surprised to learn, the male duck has, would you believe…..a chestnut head!

Understandably for a young lady who once frolicked as the Scottish Widow, over the glens, listening every evening to Henry babbling on and on about wigeons. Or was it pigeons? made her think “I should have married the film star Richard Widmark” Too late I’m afraid, Richard’s already spoken for. Your best bet is to poison Henry, become a widow again, run through the heather and pray you’ll bump into Heathcliff, from Wuthering Heights.

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